Mental Illness Mouse

Everyone does say that laughter is the best medicine. Your medications are just a supplement.

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Disclaimer: we are not medical professionals- we cannot give you a diagnosis or medication advice. Please speak to a health professional for this. If you are in crisis please contact one of the hotlines on our page.

TW: Depression, Suicide

I went to my family doctor, admitted I was depressed and wasn’t sure whether I would hurt myself or not.  He called my psychiatrist and since I had had suicidal thoughts before, they decided inpatient care was probably the way to go.  I didn’t feel safe driving, so my dad picked me up and took me to the hospital.

I didn’t get officially admitted until about 1:30 in the morning, and the first day was pretty rough.  I had to part with my shoes, and my cell phone.  My shampoo, conditioner, electric toothbrush, and mouthwash were all locked up until I needed to use them (they had shampoo, toothbrushes, and mouthwash, but their shampoo sucked and their toothpaste tasted of chlorine).  Other than losing my cell phone, one of the hardest things had to be letting other people control when I took my medication.

The psychiatrist there ramped up my Lamictal, and switched me from Lexapro to Effexor (something my own psychiatrist was going to do, should the Lexapro prove ineffective, which apparently it did) and I’m still waiting to see how that’s going to turn out.  All of the nursing staff were really nice, and group activities were actually helpful.  The food was even pretty good, which shocked me, given how often people tell jokes about nasty hospital food.  I even got to pick which drink I wanted to have with my meals (hot tea, hot tea, and hot tea).

The accommodations were even pretty decent.  Everyone had their own room/bathroom, though the bath and shower were in a separate area.  The bed was reasonably comfortable, and the staff was willing to give me crossword puzzles and other stuff to keep me busy when there weren’t groups.  I was a little irked that I had to give up my pens, since that’s what I like to write in my journal with - and two of my shirts were confiscated for having guns on them (my Spy and Soldier shirts).

Despite it being pretty scary at first, I think overall it was the right thing to do.  Everyone was very nice, and I feel a lot better, but I was still happy to leave.  Now I’m just hoping I don’t sink again when I start back to work.

Regardless, I am really glad I decided to go to the hospital.  It was super helpful, and I encourage anyone who is suffering from suicidal depression to seek help.  Like I said, it can be scary at first, but the staff are there to help make you feel better.