It's All In Your Head

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Disclaimer: we are not medical professionals- we cannot give you a diagnosis or medication advice. Please speak to a health professional for this. If you are in crisis please contact one of the hotlines on our page.

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Abusive relationships don’t start out that way. Most abusive relationships start out with candy and flowers, courting and romance—basically, a “normal” relationship. The abusive slips in, slowly and maliciously. It may not seem so obvious to the person in the relationship that things are getting out of hand because they have slowly progressed to that point over time.

It can be hard to determine if you’re in an abusive relationship because it can be hard to see the behaviors for what they really are.  It’s common for the recipient of the abuse to make excuses for the abuser’s behavior or they may simply deem it as a normal part of the relationship.

You might be in an abusive relationship if:

  1. You’re afraid to break up with them because they make or imply threats
  2. You feel tied down, like you have to check-in or account for your whereabouts
  3. You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects because the other person gets too mad
  4. You are afraid to contradict them
  5. You tell yourself if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will get better
  6. You find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy—regardless of if you feel comfortable doing it or not.
  7. You feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time.
  8. You find the physical, verbal, mental or emotional abuse is getting worse over time.
  9. Your partner threatens to physically harm you and/or follows through on those threats.
  10. You are being cut off from family members and friends more and more because your partner doesn’t want you to have contact with them.
  11. You partner makes decisions about where to go or what to do with little or no input from you.
  12. You are being belittled and called names when the two of you are alone or in public.
  13. You are being embarrassed and humiliated in front of others, or your partner talks about you as if you are not there.
  14. You are having sex that is forced or rougher than you prefer.
  15. You are prevented from having access to your own money or the family’s money
  16. Money is used to control and manipulate you
  17. Your partner minimizes the abuse, tells you it didn’t happen or that you are crazy
  18. You are feeling intimidated by your partner when they hit objects, abuse pets, brandish weapons, or verbally threaten you
  19. Your partner dictates who you can see and when you can see them.
  20. Your partner routinely looks through your Internet history, your phone’s contacts, texts, and recent call lists.

If any of your friends have expressed concern that the relationship you’re in may be unhealthy, it’s not a bad idea to go through and honestly evaluate the relationship—outside observers may see the behaviors differently than you do.

If you are feeling this way in your relationship, talk to someone. Call a hotline. Talk to a friend or family member you can trust. See a counselor or mental health provider.  We have a great list of hotline numbers available that are aimed specifically at domestic abuse.  The National Domestic Violence website has some other great resources.

Love should never be about fear or anxiety.  It’s not your fault, and you deserve somebody who will love and respect you always.

  1. luckytygar reblogged this from mentalillnessmouse and added:
    This post is ridiculously relevant in my life right now. I showed it to my mom last night after my parents finished...
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    lol almost my life for the past 3 months
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