It's All In Your Head

I don’t know if they are considered to be disabilities in general (though they are pretty debilitating), but if you are at school and need to adjust your schedule/work load/circumstances to accommodate your mental illness, at least schools in the U.S. have disability services that you can take advantage of if you struggle with mental illness. 

-Sarah

(salt&ice) but then it turned red & began to burn. I didn’t mind that. Now its just a little sore but the area (a red welt shaped like the ice cube) is swollen by about 1/4 inch at its worst and hard to the touch. When would I know if I’ve given myself more than just 1st degree frostbite? Can I get by with home care? If I DO need medical attn how can I explain it to the doctors without them tossing me in an asylum?

TW: Self-harm/Self-injury

Dear Anon,

A quick google search gave this breakdown for degrees of frostbite:

First-degree frostbite. Also called frostnip, this degree of frostbite means there is a partial freezing of the outer layers of your skin. You may feel a tingling and stinging in the area, and your skin may redden or turn white.

First-degree frostbite can typically be treated without medical attention. Experts at the Mayo Clinic and WedMD recommend getting out of the cold quickly and changing into dry clothing. Then warm the affected area by blowing warm air on them, or place it in warm, but not hot, water. You can also wrap it in warm blankets. It’s important to resist the urge to rub frostnipped skin, as it could make the situation worse. After a first case of frostnip, your skin may be more sensitive to future frostbite and sun damage.

Second-degree frostbite. This level happens when all layers of the skin freeze. The outer layer will feel hard and initially numb. Blistering will usually occur in six to 24 hours after warming.

Third-degree frostbite. This means the skin and tissues below have frozen. The symptoms are similar to second-degree frostbite. Skin may appear bluish-gray.

Fourth-degree frostbite. This is the most serious form of frostbite involving the freezing of not only skin and tissue, but also muscles and bones. The skin will look red and/or blue and eventually change to black.

(2/2) on the phone. I’m also always afraid that people are going to come up and start talking to me. I hate when strangers or waiters or other people try to make small talk. And I also always feel like everyone’s staring at me. And I’m always judging everything I do because I feel like I look like a loser. It just doesn’t make any sense to me because if people were to describe me, one of the first words they would use would most likely be assertive. (There’s one more after this, sorry.) (3) I don’t know what’s going on. And I just turned 18 and I’m going to college in the fall and my mom says that part of being an adult is making phone calls. Like that’s what she said when I told her I hate making them. And I’m afraid if I tell her that I meant I’m actually afraid of them, she’ll think I’m not ready to go away to college. She almost didn’t let me go because I was in the hospital 3 times during my senior year of high school so she thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Hey anon.  I actually experience very similar things.

Social anxiety doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t function socially at all.  Sometimes it can definitely be situational and can fluctuate in how it manifests and how severely it affects your life, so I think it’s totally possible to have social anxiety but have assertive skills in some areas.

I think it would be beneficial for you to talk to a therapist about this.  They’ll give you small steps to overcome the social anxiety, such as making a phone call with them, then when they’re in the same room, then eventually on your own.  If you’re having trouble making the initial appointment by phone, sometimes therapists have email addresses or you could have a friend or trusted family member help you set up the initial appointment.  Most colleges offer some form of counseling services as well.

Good luck!

~Lil

At this point, I’m mainly familiar with the DSM because so far it’s what they’ve taught in school.  I think that the majority of us at MIM have learned according to the DSM, so that’s what we go by.

For the previous ask where I cited the DSM, I also researched the criteria according to the ICD and both had pretty much the same criteria.  I’ve added information from the ICD as well and I’ll do my best to cite both in the future.

~Lil

it’s almost as if I am too afraid to listen to them, so I end up giving a nervous smile and a nervous laugh and I ask them to repeat what they said so I can listen. A lot of it, I think, is that I am trying to hear everything else that is going on around me at the same time, including my own thoughts. And people who don’t know me very well, look at me like I’m stupid when I do that. And I could imagine that my face looks pretty dumb at the time because I’m completely spaced out and nervous.  Is that normal? I assume, from all the reading-up I have done on PTSD and (C)PTSD, that there’s a really good chance it is because I let the PTSD fester for so many years. But when people give me funny looks because I just spaced out in the middle of a conversation and am obviously nervous, I can’t help but feeling like that isn’t normal and doesn’t happen to other PTSD sufferers very often….

TW: Abuse

I’m personally very hesitant to use the word “normal” or “abnormal.”  I think that your behaviors have stemmed from the prolonged abuse and it makes sense that you would be wary and hyper-aware of your surroundings.

When we as human beings feel threatened by a real or imaginary threat, we typically become hypervigilant and take in more of what’s going on around us so we can assess if we need to run or fight. 

It sounds like there is some anxiety going on when you’re in a social situation and anxiety triggers the fight-or-flight response, and I think that the abuse you experienced made you more sensitive to your surroundings when you experience anxiety.  That doesn’t make you stupid or weird or abnormal—it’s how you’ve learned to cope and function.

I think it’s awesome that you’re looking for help and I strongly encourage you to keep looking until you find a therapist that is right for you.  In the mean time, I know that it’s hard to not be self-conscious when you feel like you’re being judged, but try not to be too hard on yourself. If you feel comfortable with prefacing a discussion with something along the lines of “I sometimes have trouble concentrating, and may need you to repeat things so I can better understand them” then that’s one suggestion.  Eye contact is another way to help bring your focus back on what somebody else is saying.

Do any of our followers have any advice or experiences with this and how they cope?

~Lil

TW: Eating Disorders

No need to be sorry, anon!  It’s what we’re here for :)

Basically, a diagnosis (such as bulimia) is a set of criteria created by a small number of professionals to classify certain behaviors.  These diagnostic criteria are located in the DSM-IV and the ICD (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 4th revised edition and International Classification of Diseases).  Unfortunately, sometimes the criteria, especially for an “official” eating disorder, are very narrow.  (I do know that the newest version of the DSM is coming out very soon and the diagnostic criteria for many things have changed.)  My major issue with these systems, along with many other people, is that these narrow definitions exclude people who really do need help.

I’d say that even if there’s no binging going on, there’s definitely disordered eating and, personally, I’d classify it as a form of bulimia.  Pretty much an eating disorder that doesn’t fit with the criteria for either bulimia or anorexia is classified as an ED-NOS (Eating Disorder—Not Otherwise Specified) by the DSM-IV and in this case, Bulimia NOS in the ICD.  This doesn’t make it any less serious, though.  Regardless of whether or not these behavior patterns meet the official criteria for an eating disorder, getting help sooner rather than later is important.

I hope this made sense!

~Lil

Hey there anon!  I’m sorry that you’re experiencing insecurities and low self esteem.  I know it feels awful and I’m glad that you’re reaching out for help!

I’m actually studying art therapy, and I’m excited that you’re looking into art as a healing process.  I find that art making is extremely beneficial on a number of levels.

One of the most useful ways I express myself is through keeping a journal.  I use it to write about my day, doodle, collage, make lists, etc.  The best part about keeping a journal for yourself is that it’s totally yours—it’s not like the journals that teachers sometimes make you keep in school where they give you a prompt and you have to write about it.  It also provides insight when I look back on my entries, noticing patterns in thoughts and behaviors.  (I think especially if you have problems procrastinating, making lists can help keep you on track.  And don’t forget to add little motivational things to your list when you’ve achieved a few items on the list.  Prioritize what the most important things to get done are and go from there.)

The best part about art is that there are no set rules for making art or for constituting what’s “beautiful” and “good” art.  All art is beautiful in its own way.  That being said, you can always just grab some paper, a canvas, some art supplies and go wild.  Find a medium that you’re comfortable working with or that you enjoy using.

You can free-journal/make art without prompts or you can find prompts online to guide what you’re writing or creating.  There are a number of places you can find prompts to get you started if you get stuck.

• Cathy Malchiodi is a common name in the art therapy world.  She has this Pinterest board of art therapy ideas and projects.
• This site links to some basic art therapy exercises by category (ie: relaxation, emotions, etc.)

If you have more questions about art therapy or are looking for more information or basic journal/art prompts, feel free to contact me here on MIM or on my personal ask box.

~Lil

(2 of 2) anything to do with the destruction. I wanted to go help, to see if that could make me feel the reality of it, but they are turning away volunteers, which makes me feel twice as bad since I can’t care on the inside or outside. My sister wouldn’t stop talking about it and i got so uncomfortable that I actually yelled at her to “shut up about it.” Any advice on how to either make this real for myself or how to cope with feeling nothing when so many are grieving? I feel so guilty and wrong.

Oh, anon.  First of all, my heart goes out to you and everybody affected by the tornado and destruction.  I’ve seen the destruction and images online and on the news and I can only imagine what you’re going through.  If any of our other followers have been affected by this and need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Everybody deals with trauma in different ways; there’s no single “right” way to deal with these strong emotions and feelings.  I know that, for many people, distancing themselves emotionally from the event and the emotions that it brings is pretty common.  You’re not a horrible or despicable person at all for responding this way, and with your history with PTSD and depression, this may be how you cope and/or protect yourself emotionally.

If you want to help, just because an organization or group of people is turning away volunteers doesn’t mean you can’t help out regardless.  Is there anything you can do in your own neighborhood, with your neighbors, or even with your family?  If you think that volunteering is beneficial for you and will help with the healing process, then I strongly encourage you to.

I also want to stress the importance of taking care of yourself, taking time for yourself, and potentially seeking help.  Just because you haven’t had a strong reaction to the event doesn’t mean it hasn’t affected you in some way, and working through why you feel so numb regarding this event is important.  It’s also important to let your family know how they can help you—if it’s to avoid talking about it for the time being while you’re around, let them know.  If you need them to ask how you’re doing once or twice a day, ask if they can check in with you. 

Finally, NEVER feel guilty for what you’re feeling or not feeling, and never let anybody make you feel guilty for your feelings.  They are real, they are valid, even if you don’t know what your emotions are or even if you’re feeling numb.

I wish you the best of luck.  Hang in there, anon. 

<3 Lil

You don’t have to be underweight- in fact, many people who have bulimia are at an average weight. The main criteria for diagnosing it are as follows:

A. Recurrent episodes of binge eating. An episode of binge eating is characterized by both of the following: 

(1) Eating, in a discrete period of time (e.g., within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than most people would eat during a similar period of time and under similar circumstances. 

(2) A sense of lack of control over eating during the episode (e.g., a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating). 

B. Recurrent inappropriate compensatory behavior in order to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting, misuse of laxatives, diuretics, enemas, or other medications; fasting, or excessive exercise. 

C. The binge eating and inappropriate compensatory behaviors occur, on average, at least twice a week for three months. 

D. Self-evaluation is unduly influenced by body shape and weight. 

E. The disturbance does not occur exclusively during episodes of Anorexia Nervosa.

Type: Purging Type vs. Non-purging Type (exercise & fasting to compensate).

(from here)

-Sarah

I haven’t been able to find one.

Do our followers know of an addiction advice animal?

- Q

Anon, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this; it must be really hard and my heart goes out to you. Honestly, the best thing you can do is to get some professional help. Talk to your doctor, start seeing a therapist, whatever works for you. It doesn’t make you crazy or weird or wrong, it just means that you are taking care of yourself and being proactive about your well-being. 

Sometimes there are things that we can’t figure out alone- this is one of them. So good luck, and I hope that you’re able to find help and get through this ♥

-Sarah

I don’t know if megalomania is a widely used terms with doctors now. Even though it’s technically a bit different, it is usually swapped out for narcissistic personality disorder. But that doesn’t make it any less serious, so it’s good that you recognize that you need to do something.

And bear in mind that we aren’t professionals here and are not really qualified to diagnose or anything, so take this advice with a grain of salt. To get a clearer answer and find some help, ask a doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, etc.

-Sarah

i hope you find a good place!