Everyone does say that laughter is the best medicine. Your medications are just a supplement.
Disclaimer: we are not medical professionals- we cannot give you a diagnosis or medication advice. Please speak to a health professional for this. If you are in crisis please contact one of the hotlines on our page.
My boyfriend deserves so much better, he always says he wants his future with me etc but he’s wasting his time, I’m always in my depressive moods, he’s so supportive and I love him more than anything but I want him to be with someone who’s worth his time, I just don’t know what to do:’(
I haven’t written for MiM in a very long time, partly because I was feeling the exact same thing about my partner, my family, my friends, my whole life.
But I’m here to tell you: your boyfriend is right. If he thinks you’re fabulous, it’s because you are. He knows you, he sees you in a way you can’t see yourself. Why would he want to be with you if he didn’t think you’re amazing?
When you suffer with depression (apologies for the assumption) things change. Things can get distorted. Depression tells you you’re not worth your boyfriend’s time, but he clearly thinks that you are worth his time. Why do you think you aren’t? If you’ve been depressed a while, you may not have been behaving like you used to; you may be irritable or distant. Maybe you’ve recognised behaviours in yourself that you don’t like. Nobody thinks you’ve been doing these things on purpose. Depression causes great pain, which can take hold of you and make you do things that are out of character. The experience of pain can change you permanently. But that’s nothing to be afraid of. We all change as we grow. It sounds like your boyfriend is very understanding, have you told him how you feel?
Depression can really do a number on a person’s self esteem, and it sounds like that’s happened to you. But you can rebuild it. I’m a big believer in therapy, but for self esteem, I think you can get pretty good therapy from someone who likes you (like your boyfriend). They can help to remind you how great you are. You may have lost interest in your hobbies, but remember that thing you were really good at? That achievement you were so proud of? And you: are you kind? Helpful? Understanding? Maybe you have a real passion for litter picking or kitten rescue? Or maybe you’re the best at Cards Against Humanity? You have fantastic qualities, it’s just hard for you to see them through the fog of depression. But that’s okay. Try telling yourself how great you are. It may feel odd, you may also feel like you’re lying to yourself, but if you tell yourself “Billie from MiM thinks I’m great” over and over again (I can promise you it’s true) you might start to believe it :)
Here are some resources from our page:
I hope things get better for you, and I hope you soon feel as wonderful as you are.
So, here it is.
My 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression
1) Know that you’re not alone. Know that we are a silent legion, who, every day face the solipsism and judgement of Happy People Who Think We Just Aren’t Trying. There are people who are depressed, people who have been depressed, and people who just haven’t been hit with it yet.
2) Understand that the Happy People are usually acting out of some genuine (albeit misguided) concern for you, that it’s coming from a good place, even if the advice feels like you’re being blamed for your disease. Telling you these things makes them feel better, even if it makes you feel like shit. (If they insist on keeping it up, see #12.)
3) Enlist the help of a professional. See your doctor. You need to talk about the ugly shit, and there are people paid to listen and help you find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel.
4) Understand that antidepressants will only do so much. They’re useful, they’ll level you out and give you the time you need to figure out your own path to getting well. They can be helpful. There are lots to choose from. They may not be for you, and even if they are, they take some time to kick in. Conversely, they may not be for you. Work with your doctor.
5) Pick up a paintbrush, a pencil, an activity you got joy from in the past and re-explore that. Or, sign up for the thing you always wanted to try. There is a long history and link between depression and creativity. It’s a bright light of this condition, so utilize it to your best advantage.
Dear every follower dealing with depression/anxiety/mental illness,
This is temporary. Please, for the love of god, please remember this is temporary. When you think you’re at the end and nothing else matters other then death and thinking about the sweet release you’ll feel after you’re gone, remember everyone you’ve ever crossed paths with. Think of all the good memories you have of them.
Think about all the opportunities you’ll be throwing away. Now, you might say “but, Elise, I’m not good enough. I KNOW I’m not good enough.” No, you are. You know why? Because you were born into this world. You were born into this world to maybe inspire others, maybe inspire yourself, or hell, maybe you’re here just to be here. And my god, the world would not be the same without you.
If you think no one loves you, you’re wrong. I love you. Your friends love you. Your family loves you.
Death is like a grenade. Once death has picked someone and when they leave this world, they destroy everything around them.
Be nice to the world, even if it knocks you down, because there’s someone who will always need help.
And if I don’t have enough power to save myself, you damn well bet your ass that I’m going to help someone who doesn’t deserve an early death, especially when depression is the cause of it.
Recovery is not a number.
Recovery is not a weight.
Recovery is not ‘eating healthy’.
Recovery is not avoiding foods.
Recovery is not constantly counting calories and worrying over the macros.
Recovery is about finding yourself.
Recovery is accepting who you are when your body is happiest.
Recovery is a journey, an adventure.
Recovery is learning to live.
Recovery is a way of life.
Don’t let your disorder fool you into believing otherwise.
self-care suggestions beyond “have a bath”
- collect flowers for pressing
- plan a trip in great detail
- memorise a poem
- find and record sounds you love
- customise a piece of clothing
- read a book you loved from childhood
- have someone do your hair/paint your nails
- climb a tree (and spend some time there)
- find a free local event to go to
- visit an animal shelter
- try to recreate a great meal you once had
- record a fond memory
- do something you think you can’t do
stop romanticizing unhealthy relationships.
stop thinking you can change someone. you can’t. they need to change for themselves.
stop romanticizing the idea of you two being together some day. if it isn’t happening now, let it go.
no more pouring your heart out for someone who gives you little to no reciprocation.
find someone who values your long letters and passionate attempts. this person will reciprocate, with twice as much fire.
never apologize for your mental things. never apologize for needing attention, or stimming, or shutting down, or dissociating, or having a manic episode, or not being able to empathize with someone.
your brain is valid, and worthy of love, and you do not need to apologize for being powerful.
Today’s mental health reminder: a relapse, a sudden series of attacks, a string of awful days, (or whatever your step back may be) does not decrease your value. Take your time, do some self care, reflect on the progress that you have made. You are strong; one step back is nothing when you look at the journey you have already made.
^ This is something everyone needs to recognize and know. Because it took me a few times to realize it was manipulation.
reblogging because this is important for anyone between 1 to 900 to know
No one ever has the right to make you feel trapped in a relationship for any reason.
1. Contrary to popular belief, waking up early isn’t going to drastically alter your life or effect how you’re feeling. So sleep till noon and relish in the way laying in bed all day makes you feel a little more human.
2. Drinking your coffee ‘black’ doesn’t make you cooler or more sophisticated than the rest of us who load in milk and sugar.
3. Being unimpressed by everything makes you look like a twat. Get excited, be overly passionate about something. Enthusiasm is fun.
4. Hating yourself isn’t romantic.
5. Eat whatever you want. your friend’s a vegan? Awesome. Listen to her talk about how great she feels because of it while you tuck in to some chocolate cake. Tell her you feel just as great.
Please don’t. I know what it’s like when things hurt so much you want to end it, or just hurt. I’ve been there. Very recently.
Please don’t do it. Please stay.
I’m gonna tell you something NO ONE ever said to me. Don’t stick around for me. Don’t stick around for ANYONE else. Stick around for you.
Stick around for your hopes. Stick around for boat trips and movie theater popcorn.
Stick around for sweet dreams. Stick around for costume parties and the feeling of a kitten licking your hand.
Stick around for all the things you want to do, plan to do, wish to do and because you’re a beautiful unique individual.
Don’t worry about our feelings. Don’t think about whether we hurt or not—we only care that you, a bright light in this dingy world, stay and stay for your own sake. We won’t guilt you Into it.
We will coerce you with promises of sparkling twilights and bright green trees. With running, and skipping and food that tastes good.
With Christmas presents, and giggles and bike rides.
Please stay and enjoy these things that you love. Because even if it doesn’t feel like it, you do love these things and will feel it again.
Please be safe and well.